She was perfect!
At that moment I remembered that feeling, the same feeling I had the first time I saw my son in a ultrasound. I fell in love even harder, deeper, faster that I had up to this point. Yes, I loved the little dear with all my heart already, but now I could see her and it felt all the more real!
The ultrasound went well, mostly. At one point they started talking among themselves (the two doctors in the room) about something I couldn't quite understand. They began looking very closely at some areas of her body, obviously searching for something but I was still at a loss as to what. My husband was kindly and efficiently occupying our son in the corner of the room, somewhat oblivious to my growing fear. The doctor checked her over, gave a "hmmm" and wrapped it up.
Then came the part where I sit up and he says "Well...." followed by some uncomfortable silence and a clenching of his fists. At this point I'm fearing the worse but still have no understanding, she looked great to me, what had I missed? The doctor proceeded to tell us that she has SUA, a single artery in her umbilical cord causing limited blood flow to our little one. He said that they checked her over carefully and she looks great! Her heart was fine, her organs (from what they could see) looked good so far. They checked for a cleft palate/lip, and after getting her to move her hand out of her mouth, confirmed that her mouth was fine too. They saw no markers for Downs or any other genetic issues we were at risk for.
*sigh* my world was spinning a little. This was our first ever irregularity in an ultrasound and it was scary!
He put me at ease and said she looked great and he wasn't very worried at all. The only thing they want to watch is her growth. Babies with SUA risk not growing that well because of the limited blood supply. This can cause problems down the road but as long as she keeps growing, things should be fine. Our little one was measuring right on track for her weight and age. He also warned that we would probably be dealing with later ultrasounds if they were concerned and that she was at higher risk for preterm labor.
Jon and I were both pretty quiet when we left the appointment, unsure of how to feel. On one hand, we were bless to see our little girl and so happy that she is doing fine. On the second had, we were presented with the possibility that things will not be fine later on.
It took a while to set in and I can honestly say that I feel like she will be just fine. I'm not sure what I would do if she wasn't, but I have to trust that the Lord has her in His hands. Its hard feeling helpless when it comes to your baby's safety, especially since she is so much a part of me.
Regardless of what happens....
Regardless of the fact that she may or may not come out "perfect"....
Regardless of the worry we will have until we have her in our arms....
I thank the Lord for her and what a surprise blessing she has been in our lives. She is already perfect to me and I am so beyond anxious to hold her in my arms and see her beautiful little face.
Thank you Jesus for our little miracle! Please protect her as she grows!